Sunday, April 11, 2010

Life is long

I am part of the 90's "meh" generation.
I was a grunge girl... "oh well, whatever, nevermind" was our cry.
We were young, spotty rebels without a freaking clue.
Every generation has their reckless youth... and ours was no different, I guess.
The "live fast, die young" attitude was used an excuse for some pretty stupid activities. It doesn't matter, right? Life is short... try everything once... do whatever feels good to you. Right?
Well... no.
As you grow up, you realise that there are consequences to your actions.
Sometimes... life long consequences.

"You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years."
Chris Rock

I often despair at my generation. Why are we so self absorbed?
Perhaps the excesses of the 80's was the beginning of the "me" generation.
Having too much of everything made us feel like we were owed everything.
We just have to look at the rapid growth of Web 2.0 sites. It's all about me.
MySpace was the beginning... and look how quickly that disintegrated into a masturbatory mess.
However, pretty soon everyone (and their mother) was blogging, Facebooking and Tweeting.
Do we ever shut up about ourselves?

And yes.. I've stayed away from blogging for a very long time because I hate how self indulgent it can be. The constant introspection and self-analysis cannot be healthy. Yes, I know we pay therapists now to just talk to us about ourselves... but, in the hands of immature kids, it's a dangerous practice.
While I love the freedom that true open honest discussion gives us, is it really ok to just say whatever you want whenever you want to say it? Are there any consequences to our actions?

This isn't an attack on bloggers... it's not about the medium. It's about our intentions.
You don't have to believe in karma to be aware that all our actions, big and small, have some effect on our world.
Everything that we do or say has repercussions.
Life is long.
Think before you act.
And maybe think of others before you think of your own needs and wants and desires.
You are important and you deserve the best... but we all need each other.
Life is serious business but we all make mistakes along the way.
One bit of good news is that no matter how many times we stumble through life... it does go on.
And, with a bit of help from our friends, the burden is shared and eased.
Just ask.
I'll be there.

Pic link

Saturday, April 3, 2010

My idea of fun

"Wanna have some fun?"
Yeah! Life is too short... let's have FUN!
Oh wait... what do you mean by fun?
Oh... that. You just want "no strings" access to my body parts?
That's um.. sweet. Tempting.. but no thanks.
Want to know what my idea of fun is?

Let's talk about how to make the world a better place.
I want to hear your ideas, your hopes and dreams for the future.
I want to know what makes your heart ache... what makes you laugh out loud.
I want to know your deepest darkest secret... and then laugh together at how silly it is.
I want to know your fears and weaknesses... and love you anyway.
I want coffee made for me, just the way I like it.
I want chocolate and flowers.. because "I thought of you today."
Body parts? You want body parts? Let me show you how.. and where... in a million different ways. Isn't that better than one sloppy drunken night? It is for me...

Know what else is fun? Having a life growing inside you.
One that I made with you... a combination of both our lives... a part of both of us.. forever. How fun is that?!
Then we get to watch it grow... we love and nurture it together.. we learn, we grow.. together.
I see you every day, and learn more about you every day.. and love you more... every single day.
And you teach me more about myself.. and I grow and change.. and become a better person because of you. And you love me... more and more.
Are we having fun yet?

So... yeah. I like having fun.
I want fun... with someone who knows what it's really all about.
Call me when you grow up and figure it all out.

love ani.
yes... love me.
it's all or nothing.
i'm worth it.

Foolish games

Don't tell anyone... but I still think about you... every single day.
It's been about six weeks now.
I don't know what you're up to.
I don't know who you are, and, yes, I'm sorry, but perhaps I never did.
I've stayed away from you, your friends... your life.
My life has gone on... I've been good.
But I miss you.
And I think about you.

It's hard... but I keep reminding myself that I never did make you happy.
We both desperately wanted and needed to love each other unconditionally... but we never could.
I wish we didn't hurt each other when neither one of us wanted that.
I don't know why we felt like we needed to keep trying to make it work, when it just didn't.
I know all of this... and we both know a lot more that will never get discussed...
But I still miss you.

I hope that you're ok.
I wish... that things could've been better.
I wish I could've... been better.
I wish you could've... been stronger.
I love you.
I wish I didn't.
It would make things so much easier...
I've tried hating you... but we both know that it's not true.

Anyway... this means nothing... and it doesn't matter.
It's over... and I'm tired of playing this game.
Good night.