Monday, January 14, 2013

Oh December

Happy 2013. :)
We're halfway through January already and I'm still trying to wrap my head around December 2012. So much has happened.... I dont even know where to start.

I guess the best place to start is my friends', AJ and Caryn, wedding. It was in Franschoek. It was really hot and a bit different than normal weddings (think zombies, burlesque and heavy metal) but still a really good day. I went with my friend Yvette, expecting to know no one else there. I managed to meet so many people that I knew from very different parts of my life... as far apart as twitter's tequila club and close friends of my family. That's Cape Town for you - everyone knows everyone.

I somehow magically transformed into a little bit of a social butterfly (I have these moments occasionally), chatting to everyone and getting to meet some new people. I met the very hippy and lovely Psy who I had recognised from some trance parties. We spoke about some of the parties we had been to and he spoke about his horrible experience with someone at Groovy Troopers. I shared a similar experience about the man-child and he gave me the best hug in the world. So, of course, we became instant friends and agreed to go to the next party together. I know, right? :)

We went to the End of the World party on the 21st. He kindly offered to drive us there and found the best place on the farm for our tent. He introduced me to his "psy family" - a group of really cool people that congregate in the "crystal tent". It was a loving environment and I was having such an amazing time. It was super chilled with no set agenda of what we had to do. Just being there, enjoying the music and the vibe was enough. I was happy.

I was also thinking of the man-child as this was my first trance party without him and even considered phoning him on the first night... but I didnt. Still, I did see him the next day. I was initially happy to see him and hugged him and told him I missed him (we hadn't spoken in over a month). He was friendly but then very quickly started his drama so I took a step back and (literally and in every sense of the word) let... it... go. I'm done with that - completely and totally done.

"Let It Go" by Kenny Random

During the rest of the party, I felt so free and uninhibited. I was in a great, happy space... bouncing around meeting all kinds of lovely people. I handed out free hugs and sweeties and had the coolest chats with strangers. I bonded with a lovely, shy, super intelligent boy and did some fun things with a ginger who ignored me the next day. It was all good. Life was fun.

And then I went home. Family. Christmas. Food. Baby (not mine). Car broke down.

I went to another friend's wedding in Stellenbosch. I went with an old friend of mine and it was so good to catch up with her. I got to speak to her about everything that has been going on over the last couple of years, especially about my ex-husband and my dad. Other people seem to think that it's old news or that I should be over it by now. It felt good to talk about it. And it felt even better to still feel loved by someone I haven't really spoken to in years. Someone who knew me before everything...  someone who still believes in me. I was in grateful tears. I really needed that. *sigh*

I then went to Boomerang, the New Year's Eve trance party with Psy and my cousin and some of her friends. It was the MOST fun EVER! The BEST!! I managed to score the "best cousin" award with everyone. So many great memories... so many beautiful people... I loved it all.

And then... 2013.

Work. Money. Life. etc.

I'm glad that I'm back in therapy. I'm glad that I'm dreaming more and I'm glad that I've made some progress in my personal relationships. I still want to do more and be more...
But I think I could be on the right track.

December 2012... I will miss you.
January 2013? I guess I'll grow to like you.