Monday, September 27, 2010

Fly far away

Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from here. 
 ~ From: Forrest Gump

Ever feel like you want to run away, fly away... to just go somewhere that's not where you are?
I've tried running away many times... and it never works.
When I left my husband, I flew away with a friend to the Vaal River.
Recently, I was willing to give up everything and fly away to Mozambique.
My whole life feels like a marathon sometimes.. and I'm out of breathe.
I'm tired... but I keep going...

I know that I can't keep running away from things.
I'm trying to be brave and face it all. 
But I'm also not running towards anything.
I'm just standing.
Granted, this can be an achievement when all you feel like doing is falling... but still. 
We all want something more, don't we?

I spoke in my last post about my lack of goals.
The thing is.. the only thing I've ever wanted is love.
There's something tragic about a Leo that's not in Love. 
Our hearts are as big as the sun... but we really do need to have people to care about.

I know that love is "there for the taking" and that you have to "give in order to receive".
But, right now.. I just dont wanna. 
I dont want to put myself out there. I dont want to look my best. I dont want to do anything.
I just want to fly... so high. 
And if that means I miss out on love... then so be it.
I want to be unbreakable.
edit: thanks to my friend alice for this tune which makes sense to me. :)

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