Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A reason to stay

I've been reading a few other bloggers "30 days of Truth" blogs. I did mine in 30 minutes
One of the questions was: "Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life?" 

I just came across this link on Facebook from someone I would never guess had ever been through depression or even considered suicide. There are many things that people say to be nice, to be kind, to try to help... but, I'm afraid most of them feel more like a way to make you shut up. 

I've heard some of these lines... 
 “Have you tried camomile tea?”
“You don’t *look* depressed!
"Go out and help people and you won’t have time to brood…”
“Why don’t you give up going to these quacks (ie doctors) and throw out those pills, then you’ll feel better.”

One of the big ones are: You need something to look forward to, something to hold onto. 
I'm very happy for moms and dads that have kids that "pulled them through" the dark parts of their life. And everyone has these amazing friends and family that are "there for them"... 
I'm very happy for you. 

But what if you don't have that.
Well, obviously you rely on you. 

And that just sucks.


  1. A few thoughts:
    1. Everyone has problems/issues/difficulties. I heard a statistic that 80% of US households are "dysfunctional". Anyone who thinks their issues or difficulties are what make them special is wrong, we all have something. What makes people special is so much more, including how they overcome those same difficulties, how they prove the naysayers wrong, how they interact and express themselves.

    2. In addition to #1, I bet at least 80% of people have thought about ending it all; "it'd be so much easier if...", "I wonder if...".

    3. As for relying on you. Look at the community you have online, how many people read this blog, how many comments you get, how many followers you have. I bet you get more page visits than me. Fortunately or unfortunately, you're never alone in this world any more.

    When I was/am depressed and angry at the world, I make a conscious effort to use positive words. When someone asks how I am, I say "awesome!". At first it feels like a lie but people start reacting to you differently because you seem happy, next thing you know you start to actually believe the lie.


  2. 1. Yes. I know. I'm just tired of "overcoming" and "proving people wrong".
    2. Yes. This is comforting.
    3. You'd be surprised at how few people I really allow into my little world. A lot of the online stuff is not that "deep". I'm probably a lot braver than some people in putting stuff out there, but I hold back lots more.
    It's fun and a distraction but not always real.
    And the numbers dont mean anything to me at 2am.

    I do stay positive... or, at least, make an effort to not use negative words. I've actually been quite quiet on various networks recently.
    But I'm just tired right now.
    Tired and frustrated.
    And weak.

  3. I can't really imagine how tough it can be. My brother in law committed suicide a few weeks ago and one thing that stood out for me (and it may also be the case for you) was that if he was at his funeral and could see how many people were there and who cared about him, he may have felt a little more hope.