So of course I decided to spend this last weekend camping. In a hurricane. For fun. Issues, much? Well yeah, but it was actually fun, after I got over the anxiety of dying in a hurricane. Anyway, vortex was an interesting and wonderful experience for lots of reasons. I got to actually work at a party for the first time ever - like free entrance and meal tickets kind of work. Next level! Also, the hurricane scared off the two humans that hate me right now so I could just relax at the party.
It also felt really great being part of the flow arts group again. It felt nice being part of *a* group, I guess. But I did end up spending most of the party alone... which I really dont mind and enjoyed. I also spent most of the party sober which was great because I remember all the connections that I had with everyone. It was a really nice feeling. Adulting-ish, evens.
I had a similar experience at Afrikaburn this year. I camped with D-Camp with some friends and lots of new people that became friends. And I was also mostly soberish.... so was pretty myself and enjoyed the time with others and on my own. Lucky me.
But this year has been a little challenging with relationships and friendships. I've been trying to be more honest and vulnerable and it doesn't always work out the way I would like. But things are actually ok... friend wise. I have enough.
I just wish that I could get a handle on finances and move forward to building something and not just paying off kak. So far, I'm worried about my car, my mom's house, my chimney, security.... and like food, electricity and black tights (impossible to find! urgh!!).
But everything is actually fine.
And Good.
Enough.
xx
~anib
