I've also identified with the butterfly because I was struggling so much with escaping from my (mostly) self imposed cocoon. After my divorce, I felt like I was pushing against everything people told me I was and tried to define my own place in the world. I dressed differently (brighter!), spoke differently (louder!), acted differently (funny, sarcastic, cheeky, flirty).
A lot of this behaviour, I had the privilege of practicing on the old StumbleUpon forums. I practiced being bitchy, nice, sexy, weird, spiritual, dark and everything inbetween. I believe that a few people thought I was being fake. I was really just trying to figure out who I was.
I still am, I guess. But now I know that all these "faces" are mine. I am all these things and more... and the darkness is a part of that too. Thankfully, it's not a big part anymore but having a dark side doesn't take away from the other good stuff. Also, I should probably stop labelling everything good/bad. It just is.
At least I dont eat shit like those butterflies.
Ok. I also need to give up the judgement thing.
Baby steps. :)
~anib
