Sunday, March 21, 2010

Jy is cooler as ekke

[reference: Jack Parow. This post is for South Africans only as I speak in Afrikaans.]

Ja. Jy is.
I've just never ever been cool.
Well, there was that brief moment in time when my youngest cousin thought I was awesomer than awesome.
Although back then, we didn't use the word awesome. I think I was kiff. Ja. Net so.
But she was young and impressionable... so... I dont think that counts.

About the only thing that made me cool was that I was, like.. so grunge, man.
I wore black all the time. Even had black nail polish AND lipstick. Hardcore, bitches. *giggle*
I even went vegetarian for a bit (that's pretty damn hardcore for a porra, ok?).
And I knew everything... about everything. Ah, to be sixteen again... ;)

Other than that, I was never cool at school.
To everyone else, I was a chubby boffin nerd and, worst of all, a "good girl".
Yep, I didn't smoke, drink or have sex when I was in high school.
No drugs either. I just watched. Yes, really.
I always did what I was told.
Mother said: Do whatever your teacher tells you to do. And I did.
I did all my homework, passed all my tests... was a good little girl. Always.
You can see how this was an epic disaster waiting to happen, right?

Anyway, even with all the smarts, I'm not geeky enough to qualify for geek cool.
I know a lot of geeky stuff... mainly because I spend a lot of time online.
I know about lolcats and internet memes and how to tweet and blog.
I know that the cake is a lie , Cthulhu is lord and master of all and the Flying Spaghetti Monster saves.
But I still love M$. I'm sorry.. but I do.
And although I now have Ubuntu on my laptop, I still pronounce Linux wrong (Lie-nux instead of Lih-nux).
It sucks. I'm geeky enough to be an online addict but not geeky enough to roll with the real geeks. I should really learn computers...

Other than that, I've always lived in da norf. Ja, beyond the boerewors curtain.
And, like, not even in the cool part of da norf. That would be D'ville, you Southern Suburb Snobs. Meh.
I've lived in Woodstock, Maitland (the horrors), Goodwood (shut it), Bellville (SUID!) and Parow. Ja. Fokken Peh-row. I KNOW, ok?!
Anyway, it's fine. At least I keep it real. Actually, no... I just feel like I dont belong anywhere. Very frustrating.

What else makes me not cool?
Well.. I LURVE silly crap.. like Hello Kitty... and My Little Pony... and butterflies. So gay. :P
Talking about gay... I should really be a gay man. I'd kick ass. (Oh, stop giggling.)
Music: 70's and 80's trash, Madonna, George Michael, ABBA. Yep, I have no shame.
I watch Oprah... and Dr Phil. If I could, I'd watch E-Entertainment channel all day.
I drive a Tazz.
I don't wear jeans.
I'm unemployed.
I think Die Antwoord is stupid.
I like the Parlotones.
I've answered a personal ad.
I can't tweet on my phone!

Argh... This is so liberating.
Now you know some of my secret shame.
I dont think I'll ever be cool... and that's really ok.
I'm pretty happy with my quirks.
Anyway.. don't panic. And don't unfriend me! :P
I do have some standards.
At least I don't own Crocs.
*chuckles to herself*


  1. Number 1: Hello Kitty rocks. #nuffsaid

    Number 2: Maybe I am out of it, but HTF can a car dictate your status? It goes forwards doesn't it? Ja, that's mos the point :P

    Number 3: I was sports bef*k in school - I smoked and drank in JHB central - where NO1 from school would know about it. In a "goth/metal" club rofl - can you see it?

    Number 4: Crocs have their place. They really do. I don't own a pair, but come on, some are them are downright pretty :P [NOT the high heel versions rofl]

    Number 5: I love you as you are. Cool doesn't factor. Neither does Uncool. You are you, and you absolutely rock at being you :) SO own it's lovely.

  2. you are way cool in my eyes and one of the nicest most genuine people. You are beautiful inside and out and besides I am sure that the cool crowd just looks fun to be in but is actually quite lonely. I would rather than good true real friends than be cool.

    I love this definition about being a geek chic

  3. I think you cool! ...but now after reading your post I am not sure what that says about ME!!! LOL!

    When you went vegetarian did your mom feed you lamb? #;-)

    ...*thinking*... I still think you're cool!

    You are you... that is cool! #;-)

  4. You guys are hilarious... and so much cooler than ekke.